Uncle Fred

A few people told me some things that were said at Uncle Fred's funeral. This is my take on the things that they told me. I hope I got things more right than wrong. Everything I am writing is based on fact.

The funeral service for Fred James Hadley was held Feb 16, 2009 in Downey, Idaho.

Sunday --Feb 8 Uncle Fred wasn’t feeling well. I believe he had slipped on the ice and fallen.

Monday -- He went to the doctor where some testing was done and advanced bone cancer was found. He spent the night in the hospital.

Tuesday -- Uncle Fred’s grandchildren visited. They had a nice visit and he was able to give them counsel and advice. Then he sent the kids home because he was tired. After they left he tried to convince the nurses that he needed to go home also so he could go to bed. They told him that he had to stay in the hospital.

Wednesday -- Uncle Fred left the hospital and was taken to Diane’s home in Chubbuck. I’m not sure if this happened in the hospital or at Diane’s but the veil was very thin and Uncle Fred was visited by his dad, both his mothers, all his siblings, his son Dennis and his grandson Curtis (both of them have been dead for more than 25 years). He had conversations with all the mentioned people. (What a joyous time it would be as the entire family was finally reunited after 86 years.)

After Uncle Fred got settled in Diane’s home, he and Aunt Sybil sat side by side holding hands and had a nice visit all afternoon. In the evening, Uncle Fred told Aunt Sybil good bye and that he would see her when she reaches the other side. Then he coughed a couple of times and peacefully died.

Uncle Fred’s bishop is Diane’s age and has lived most of his life in Downey so he knew Uncle Fred well. He said that he visited with Uncle Fred in the hospital and the nurse had Uncle Fred walking with a walker. The nurse told Diane or Diane’s daughter that they needed to pay close attention so they could help Uncle Fred walk after he left the hospital. Uncle Fred said “How are they going to help me? I can walk better than them.” He always had a good sense of humor.

Diane wanted to have a surprise reception in honor of her parents’ 75th wedding anniversary. But she wanted to invite all of their ward members. She asked the bishop to announce it over the pulpit the Sunday before the event. Uncle Fred and Aunt Sybil were sitting on the back row of the chapel (as they always do). After Sacrament meeting Uncle Fred went up to the bishop and told him that he would not be able to attend the open house that he had announced. He said that Diane had told him not to schedule anything for that day because she had something planned for them. Once again this was an example of his sense of humor.

Uncle Fred treated this anniversary celebration as a big going away party. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and visiting with so many friends and family members. It was said that this is as close as one could get to attending their own funeral.

Many years ago after Uncle Fred had his heart attack, he was forced to sell his farm. However this did not stop him from farming. He would go to other people’s farms and help them with their farm work.

He loved to go out and get fire wood. Even though he had a large pile of wood in his back yard he would still go get more wood and give it to the widows in the ward. Some times people would stop at his house and say that they noticed his big pile of fire wood and ask if it was for sale. He said, “Sure I’ll sale some to you.” That would make his day because that meant that he would have to go get more fire wood.

For many, many years Uncle Fred and Aunt Sybil have taken it upon themselves to provide the bread for the sacrament in their ward. Every Sunday, Uncle Fred would leave the bread in the chapel and then poke his head in the bishop’s office and let him know that the bread was here. On the few occasions that Uncle Fred was not going to be at church, he always arranged to have someone else get the bread. (In fact, a couple of days after Uncle Fred died, Diane called the bishop to remind him that he needed to make arrangements for the sacrament bread.)

In hindsight several people noticed that Uncle Fred knew his days on this earth would soon come to an end and he was preparing himself for that day. He showed one man a picture and asked him if he knew who that was. The man replied, “No”. Uncle Fred proceeded to tell him that it was his mother and he had not seen her for something like 84 years. His mother died days before he turned 10 years old. He had 2 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters. People were concerned about how his dad would be able to care for all these young children. Different people began offering to take one of his children to raise in their home. His father insisted on keeping his children together in his home. Even at the young age of 10, Uncle Fred “stepped up” and took on as much responsibility for the care of his siblings as he could. He also worked hard to help his dad with the farm work. I know that this made the death of his sister, Margaret, even more difficult for him. He saw so many similarities with his own life.

Uncle Fred had the highest regard for his step mother, Ercil Morrison. She married his dad about a year or so after Lillie Fisher, his mother, died. Uncle Fred always referred to his step mother as mother. He never said step mother. In fact when he was speaking about his mother, I would sometimes have to ask him which mother he was talking about. They were both treated alike. He also treated his half brother and half sister as his other siblings. He never referred to them as his half brother or half sister. He frequently said, “There may have been a mother as good as my mother, but there never was one better.” This was referring to his step mother, Ercil.

I need to make a slight correction to my mother’s history. I told the story that dad called Uncle Fred and asked him if he could pick up his dad and drive him to Elwood to see mom before she died. Uncle Fred asked how soon he needed to go. He said that a huge snow storm was coming in and he needed to stay and drive the snow plow to keep the pass by Malad open. It wasn’t that Uncle Fred didn’t want to drive in the bad snow storm, it was that he wanted to work to make things better for others.

And all I have to add is what a sweetheart he always was. I have never known any couple to be closer to each other as was Uncle Fred and Aunt Sybil. I know that Aunt Sybil will really have a difficult time without him. But she will be living with Diane and Diane will take great care of her.
I hope reading these things will help you become better acquainted with Uncle Fred as it did me.

I have some photos that I will share in another post.